Grace

11:15 PM

Long day today.  Pam is still struggling with the mouth and throat pain. The switch to dilaudid doesn't seem to make much of a difference. It is still painful for her to swallow, swish, chew, talk, breathe through her mouth, or make a face. If this one symptom would get better, it would make a tremendous difference. Her nurses and physicians are taking this seriously and trying to get it under control, but it is the one thing that has plagued her from the beginning of all of this and it doesn't seem to improve.

I went to the office part of the day today and I missed the oncologist for the first time since this whole thing started.  But, Pam was awake and alert during his visit, and there isn't anything new to report.

Sandra, Don, Mike, Bonnie and Pam
(They are actually smiling, but it is hard to tell)

Pam's childhood friend, Joni visited today.  They started getting into "chat mode", so I excused myself and got something to eat while they enjoyed each other's company.  Later her parents and Mike and Sandra stopped in. Here is a picture of the whole gang.

Alyssa visited a little later on.  It is hard to believe, but she looks a little more pregnant every day. (Brings to mind some sage advice from me to all men:  I have learned to never, ever, ever ask any woman, ever, if they are pregnant.  Ever. It can end very badly and it doesn't really matter if they are pregnant when you ask them this question or not.  Trust me. Don't do it. Ever.)

Back to our main topic: Pam's family is going to start rotating through the hospital Mon-Fri afternoons.  I'll work from home and the hospital in the mornings, go to the office in the afternoon, and back to the hospital in the evening. I am really lucky I can do some of my work remotely and that I work for such a great company.  I'm sure Pam will enjoy being with her family some more, and it will be good for her to get me out of her hair.

She handles all of this with such honesty and grace, it is really hard for me to describe. I told her today how much I admire her grace and she looked at me like I was a space alien with a third eye.  I don't really think she understands what I mean, because it comes so naturally for her.  One more quality for me to emulate.