8 AM
Came to the hospital this morning expecting Pam would tell me how much better she was feeling. Sadly, that wasn't the case. She was miserable all night long with diarrhea and she wasn't able to keep her breakfast down this morning.While we were talking, she had a bit of an emotional melt down. Everything is catching up with her: she is discouraged that she went from OK to miserable again, she is anxious about going home, she doesn't want to feel dependent on anyone for help, but still afraid that she won't get the help she needs after she is discharged. Mostly, she is just exhausted after the rough night.
She also said she is afraid she won't be able to hold her grandbaby. I melted down myself when she said that.
Medically, everything is looking up. Blood counts are all approaching normal. She is only on IVs intermittently for antibiotics. She is eating better and she is not taking any pain medication at all. The diarrhea is probably from the antibiotics and will resolve soon. Her hair is coming out more rapidly now... very minor issue in the scheme of things. It is just part of the whole journey.
Oh dearest Pam, On your worst day you are still so much further ahead than you were weeks ago. Have a melt down. You deserve it. Your system has gone through hell and back. The road to recovery is always bumpy and unpredictable but you are getting better everyday. Your grand baby is going to have the most amazing grandma in the world, who you will hold and love for years and years to come. Grammy Pam is going to be super gram; guaranteed!
ReplyDeleteKisses kisses kisses, Cynthia