Phobias and Crystal

Forgetting Things Phobia

I have a problem with forgetting things.  I always have, ask anyone. I am guessing that my forgetting things problem is not getting better as I get older.

It isn't really a mystery, I know why it happens:  Instead of thinking about the task at hand, like putting my keys in my pocket or my helmet on my head, I am thinking about everything else: Pam, Ben, an article I just read, how Felix deserves more run support, lyrics to an old song, reciting the Greek alphabet, or Medicare PQRS requirements (don't ask).

I would like to think it adds to my quirky charm, but I suspect it is more of an annoyance for everyone around me.

Pam recognizes my forgettng things handicap, so every morning she reminds me to make sure I have my glasses, keys, cell phone, lunch, laptop, bike helmet, etc.  I assure her that I have everything every morning, but I still manage to forget something at least once a week.  It should not be this hard.

A few times, I have gotten a couple of blocks away before I realized I was missing my bike helmet. Other days, I have gotten through a couple of hours squinting like Mr. Magoo at work before realizing my glasses are resting comfortably on my desk at home. Or, I get a voice mail reminder in my email inbox and then I remember my cell phone isn't in my pocket. Earlier this week, I forgot my keys, so when I got to our secure parking garage I was trapped.... couldn't get back to the condo to get my keys, couldn't get my bike unlocked.  Luckily, I didn't forget my cell phone that morning, so I called Pam's phone from the garage and she bailed me out. She never gets mad about it, which I appreciate more than she will ever know.

Paper Phobia

Because of this problem, I have also developed paper phobia. I seldom write notes on paper, because I will lose them.  Instead, I document them and organize them on a computer. My desk at work is never cluttered and I can access anything I need within a few seconds. Just don't ask me to remember it.

Name Phobia

Since I don't trust my memory, I get very anxious at any sort of get together because I am afraid I will forget someone's name.  The more anxious I get about remembering names, the worse it is.  I was at a physical therapy association meeting about 3 years ago, and I started to introduce a colleague of mine that I have known for over 20 years and I panicked and forgot her name in mid-introduction.  She thought it was funny, ("You forgot my name, didn't you??? You a-hole!!!") but I was mortified.

My Crutch

So, my computers are a needed crutch for my horrible memory.  When a customer calls me, I am looking up their account as we are exchanging greetings so I can remember what part of the country they are in and refer to notes about our prior conversations.  During customer meetings, I take notes and distribute them to everyone mostly because I will need the notes for myself.  When someone at work comes into my office to ask me a question, I often quickly access our company directory so I can call them by name.

 I am writing this on my Chromebook that I bought a couple of weeks ago.  It has become a necessity for me... particularly, since I have it set up so I can access my main computer or files from our shared drive at the office, or the Clinicient application from it. Sorry to get all nerdy on you, but it is HUGE for me. (In the future, if I am talking about my Chromebook, do me a favor and just smile and nod as if you find it fascinating... I won't know the difference.)

Pam and Crystal

On more important matters, it has been a rough week for Pam. The fatigue, shakiness, and upset stomach have worsened.  She isn't horribly sick, but feels far from well.  Last week, she was talking about riding her bike again, this week she can't get enough rest and is back to drinking a Boost once in a while instead of a real meal. I'm sure this is one of the ups and downs we will continue to experience, but it is pretty frustrating to see signs of getting back to some normalcy one week only to feel like crap again the next.  In many ways, it is was less frustrating, just way more scarey, when she was really sick.

Earlier this week, there was a free concert across the street. I didn't know who was playing, but it sounded really good and very familiar.

Of course, I forgot her name, but it turned out to be Crystal Bowersox, who was an American Idol finalist a few years ago. We love her music and voice. She is kind of an earthy folk/country reincarnation of Janis Joplin without the heroin problem and granny glasses.

I found Crystal Bowersox name on a sign outside the concert and excitedly called Pam. Unfortunately, she wasn't feeling well enough to join me. She was feeling too miserable to want to go across the street.

Concert Plans

So, another summer is slipping away. Last year before the stem cell transplant, I bought tickets to the Willamette Country Music Festival and got a motel reservation in Corvallis.  We figured the timing would be about right. We will see if Pam is up to it or not when the time comes.  Just feeling well enough to enjoy something like this will be a big deal.