Tough Applesauce

"Tough Day Today", he repeated....

Early this morning, Pam was feeling pretty good.  She felt like she got some rest last night, and getting enthusiastic about going home.  I took backroads to dodge the St. Patrick's Day Fun Run this morning and got to the hospital a little after 8 AM so I could catch the attending physician.  Here is the medical news in a nutshell:

• Bone marrow biopsy results from Wednesday still not back.
• Chest xray was clear.
• Liver ultrasound looked normal.
• Blood numbers look great.

She is off of all of her IV meds except for Tacrolimus and TPN (nutrition). Her TPN has been cut in half so that she can develop an appetite, but she is still not able to eat much at all, and is complaining of heartburn, nausea, and fatigue.  So far today, she has had 3 spoonfuls of apple sauce. She gets a little shaky after eating even that much and has to go to the bathroom.  Afterward she comes back pale and shaky and complains of being cold and nauseated. She will then lay down with her night mask on, and ask me for a wet washcloth for her forehead. She is also having a lot of problems taking her pills. Out of about 9 pills she is supposed to take today, she has taken 3 of them so far, and it is now after 3 in the afternoon.  I am working with her to take another spoon of apple sauce and another pill every half hour. The last go round, she ate half a teaspoon of applesauce and couldn't take a pill, so I am giving her another half hour. Nothing else I can do.

 

Saying the Right Things

All of this is wearing on her, as you would expect. To top it off, the steroids she is taking make her more edgy than she would be otherwise. I keep saying "the right things", but I am never sure they are "the right things":  "this is part of the deal", "one more bump in the road, you will probably have a lot of these", "we will get through this", "I wish there was someting else I could do", etc etc etc etc.  Even as I am trying to comfort her with words, I know that there is very little that anyone can do or say that is much help.  This just sucks.

Thanks

Pam's cousin Gary, Daughter Alyssa, Brother Mike, our good friends Steve and Debbie Wilkins have all called today offering whatever support they can:  St. Patrick's dinner, go out for a beer, etc.  MUCH appreciated.  Unfortunately, I really feel like I need to hang around Pam's bedside today and offer Applesauce Encouragement.  But THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!!   Even if I can't take you up on your kind offers, it still means a lot to me.

Off to push some more applesauce....